This week, I found out someone I went to school with died suddenly from a heart attack. She was 56 years old. The news is very sad, not because I knew her well, but because she just graduated from college and was looking forward to getting her teaching credential and starting a new chapter in her life. Everyone who knew her in school was shocked and deeply saddened by her passing.

Earlier, the same day I got the news about Joni's death, another friend posted on her Facebook status this question: If you died suddenly, what would you miss most? Pretty ironic, no? It was fascinating to read people's responses. One woman posted that she would miss lobster, apple pie and blueberry pancakes. Another one posted that he would miss his cats and ganga. And of course the list went on.

I asked someone close to me the same question, and this is what he said:

I’d miss the cool breeze after a rain when the world is fresh and shiny and clean.

I’d miss chocolate chip cookie dough sweet and grainy as it melts in my mouth.

I’d miss staying up till 2AM to finish a really good book.

I’d miss watching a new movie both thought provoking and tear jerking, salty popcorn by my side.

I’d miss the butterflies I get when your warm lips touch mine.

I’d miss the feel of my lover, spooning in bed, sated and content.

This had me thinking about the things I would miss most. I originally said that I would miss:

I'd miss the perfume the sun makes when it warms fragrant Eucalyptus trees

I'd miss pink buttercream roses atop a delicious chocolate cake

I'd miss the feel and smell of puppies, with their warm bellies and happy faces

I'd miss the scent and sound of the turbulent ocean, undulating ever so steadily

I'd miss my lover's hands gliding along my skin.

I'd also miss:

-floating in a warm pool, and swimming

-really silky clean sheets after a relaxing salt bath

-a perfect latte

-Italian food, including: spaghetti with meat sauce, pepperoni pizza, mushroom risotto, etc...

-a pampering spa day

-making a difference in someone's life

My list could go on and on...

As I read it, it occurs to me how simple and sensory the items are. I also recognize what's missing from my list. Some omissions now appear blatantly obvious. For example, the people I love, poetry, seeing and exploring new or exotic places, etc...

Okay, I have to come back to this because after all this talk of food, I need to go for a walk before I eat something else.

TBC.

Yesterday, was a great day. I met up with three friends, at three different times, and enjoyed great conversations, brainstorms and general merriment. As a writer, I often spend the majority of my day alone, in front of this computer. So when I have dates planned with some of my favorite folks, it's truly a refreshing change.

One of my friend's from college is a fellow writer and we discussed the balancing act between our writing lives and the rest of our other personas. It's reassuring to hear that she suffers from what most other artists/writers are plagued with, and that is the need to have time and space for our brains to focus solely on creative pursuits. When I am in creative writing mode, the real world ceases to exist. In other words, it is inevitable that other "real life" stuff will suffer and slip through the cracks.

Being torn in multiple directions is our modern dilemma, I realize that, but for writers it's especially challenging. And, because we are by nature relatively antisocial, it's even more challenging to keep our relationships alive and thriving when we have a cast of characters living in our own heads, begging for attention. Add on top of that, growing up as an only child, where my imagination was my only friend and you'll know why I am single.

Another friend of mine and former boss, discussed the challenges of motherhood and professional success. At the pinnacle of her corporate career, she suffered a brain aneurysm and nearly died. She admitted to a high level of stress colliding into an uncomfortable, impossible sandwich feeling. She also mentioned that recently she's had a lot of friends, between their 40's-50's, die unexpectedly. Stress from the balancing act perhaps?

Add to that the stress of raising young children or teenagers who are continually bombarded with sexually explicit images that reinforce their value as merely sexual beings. I can't imagine raising young girls today, with the threat of sex-traffickers lurking around every corner, looking for easy targets. And what about the wide-spread objectification and commodification of female bodies? How can we conquer that?And how does any mother sleep?

So, what's on my mind today is how to manage the mess! The mess that is life. Life is a very complex, messy, unrelenting series of decisions, troubles and genuine heartaches - and that's on an average day. On really bad days the damage can run the gamut from job loss to cancer diagnosis', to death. Fortunately, we get truly wonderful days too. Ones filled with friends, great food, creative inspiration and unexpected surprises. Those are the days I try to multiply. It is my theory that if we all had more of those days, there would a lot less of the other ones, including the ones where young girls and boys are the victims of abuse.

Care to weigh in on how you balance it all? I'd love to hear what you have to say.